Seperti hari Minggu biasanya, hari ini saya pergi ke Crossroad, gereja internasional yg biasa saya kunjungi setahun terakhir. Sejak minggu lalu, Crossroad memulai series of Hot or Not topic. Nah hari ini, tema yg diangkat adalah Until Death Do Us Part. Mengingat trend menikah dini yg naik daun belakangan ini, saya pun berpikir, I cannot get away from it, can I?? Tapi I am curious what are they going to say about marriage which is something most people not really believe in here in this country. Kebanyakan org disini memilih tinggal bersama tanpa harus menikah ato istilahnya ’samen leven or samen wonen’.

Well, I was hoping that the speaker will tell something really harsh like “Living together without marriage is forbidden in the name of Jesus”. But what I got was different, and actually kinda hit me. I want to share it here with you. (This is me in religious mode :p)

Contoh yg diambil oleh Pak Pendeta hari ini adalah kisah Yakub dan Rahel. Yakub jatuh cinta pada Rahel dan untuk menikahinya, Yakub rela bekerja 7 tahun lamanya utk Laban, ayah Rahel. Namun yg terjadi stelah 7 tahun, Laban justru memberikan Lea, adik Rahel dan mengharuskan Yakub menikahinya selama 7 hari sebelum akhirnya memberikan Rahel sebagai istrinya. Untuk itupun Yakub harus bekerja lagi 7 tahun lamanya.

Dari kisah ini, Pak Pendeta bilang bahwa para lelaki diharapkan utk “mengejar” (pursue) wanita yg dicintainya. But he said again, that a man must pursue a woman with AFFECTION (definisi Princeton: a positive feeling of liking).

What kind of affection?

NON-SEXUAL AFFECTION…

Read that guys???? That is exactly what a man should do first. Pursue a woman with a non sexual affection. FYI, seisi gereja langsung ribut deh begitu denger kata2 ini. no wonder ya.

Then, what should a woman do? A woman must show AFFIRMATION (The act of asserting positively). Maksudnya gini. Kita wanita selalu merasa insecure whether our boyfriend or husband love us or not. But on the other side, men also feel insecure whether their girlfriends or wives trust them or not. For them this is very important. So woman, start telling your special one that you trust him, you believe in him, no matter he is on top of the board or is down on failure.

Semua yg saya tulis disini murni kata2 Pak Pendeta. I dont have any experience in marriage and not even arranging one yet, but I believe this is a good advice for single or married people. The next best thing I got from today’s service is related with the title of this post.

Finding the number two.

Why number two? Seringkali kita terlalu fokus utk mencari Mr or Mrs Right One. The Right One. The number ONE. Numero Uno. Sampai2 kita lupa, bahwa sebenarnya utk memulai suatu hubungan yg didasarkan oleh Kristus, HE HIMSELF HAS TO BE THE NUMBER ONE. Jika kita uda bisa menjadikan DIA nomor satu dalam hidup kita, then we can build a very strong relationship with significant others.

So, instead of finding for the right one, we should start to think of our spouse to be as the number two. Because the first position in our life has been placed by Papa JC I think this one also goes for every religion ya. God has to be the center of our life.

Bagian yg terakhir ini seperti menusuk hati saya dalam2. karena selama ini, saya cukup sering berdoa utk menemukan The One. The Number One. But I think there are millions of people out there who think the same. Jadi, doanya harus diganti deh mulai sekarang. hehe.

Let God be your number one, and Let Him show you the number two